Do you want the girls in your life to grow up feeling smart and beautiful? Carla Molina discusses here how to give uplifting compliments that encourage your children to value all of their many wonderful attributes, including their appearance.
" let’s compliment girls on their looks in magical and amazing and unexpected ways. Let’s give them a little something to slip into their back pocket so when the icky days of adolescence arrive, full of pimples and hormones and gorgeous girls without pimples or bad hair days (but plenty of hormones), they can hold on tight to words that make them feel sparkly and beautiful. (note: they’ll hold in this back pocket lots of compliments, not just ones about their looks…ones about comedic timing, engaging storytelling, a knack for fixing cars, being an attentive listener…).
So how exactly does one compliment a little girl without being too surfacey? Be creative, full of imagination and connect them to something greater than themselves. Wha-what? What am I talking about? Here, some examples:
- My oldest daughter has brown eyes and I tell her they’re the color of the earth, rich and full of life and possibility.
- Other days I tell her they remind me of yummy chocolate which always makes her giggle. Chocolate is a source of joy for her.
- Our youngest’s eyes are the color of where the sky meets the sea at dusk. I tell her they are just like her grandma’s & like her uncle’s.
- When I brush their hair and pull it away from their faces, I tell them it’s as strong as a rope like (gasp) Rapunzel and it’s all because they nourish their bodies with the right foods.
Complimenting a little girl on the things we find beautiful on the outside does not have to be shallow.
- Make the nature connection.
- Make her feel honored to carry on a unique family trait.
- Get silly. Make it fun.
- Focus beauty on the importance of a healthy & strong body. Hooray for fruits & veggies! Hooray for exercise! "