10 things teachers wished you knew

Ref:Kidspot.com.au

By Lynne Hughes | 

A good parent/teacher relationship is important for making the most of the school year. Yet so many parents fail to communicate with their child's teacher properly, or worse, say or do something to damage the relationship. We asked Sydney primary school teacher, Elyse Pitcher, to reveal the 10 things every teacher wished parents knew to help you be the 'best parent in class'.

1. Have a set morning routine

Kids thrive on routine and a structured morning routine will set your child up for the day says Elyse, adding that it should always include a big, nutritious breakfast. "If your usual routine includes television, just be aware that children who watch tv in the morning are not in the right frame of mind for school. Instead, give your child responsibilities to increase their independence, such as making their beds or packing their own bags," Elyse recommends.

2. Be on time every time

Elyse says teachers love parents who respect bell times explaining that being late to school means your child walks into a lesson that is already underway. "It is embarrassing for your child and it can take them a while to settle down and focus on the lesson," she says.

3. Chill out and don't be so defensive  

Elyse says while she understands it's easy to get defensive if a teacher tells you your child is falling behind in a certain area, it's important to remember that it's bound to happen at sometime in every child's education. She advises before reacting defensively, parents take a breath and really listen to what the teacher is telling them, so that they can both work together to help bring your child up to speed with the rest of the class.

4. Know your child's timetable  

Yes, you are busy, but so is your child. According to Elyse, your child will feel more comfortable about school if you are on top of their routine. She advises you have a weekly calendar with everything that is on at school, such as library day, sports day, mufti days, and project due dates.

 5. Think about what you share with your child  

"Some parents talk about how they don't want their baby to start school/go on camp, because they will miss them. Children take these things literally," says Elyse, who advises parents not to put their worries on their child. "Your anxieties become their anxieties," she says. "Talk about it later with your partner and save your tears until then."

6. Keep an open mind 

As kids are not developed enough mentally to take in all perspectives of an event, Elyse asks parents to keep an open mind when children are telling them about a school incident. "You may hear a story from them about something that happened at school. If it upsets you, ask questions and think about what seems to make the most sense," she says, advising that if you are still unhappy, talk to your chld's teacher about it.

7. A thank you goes a long way! 

"Teachers often say that we never see a parent unless they have a problem with something," says Elyse. "We always love a smile, a wave, or a quick chat with parents."

8. Teachers wear many hats but can't be responsible for everything  

Primary school teachers are responsible for many different jobs and teach a range of different subjects. But they are not responsible for everything to do with your child, says Elyse, adding that they are not qualified doctors, speech therapists, or nutritionists so try not to take offense if they refer your child to someone with more specific knowledge.

9. Homework is not a way for teachers to get back at parents  

Homework, if given out correctly, is the consolidation of the week's lessons. According to Elyse, you and your child's teacher should use it as a method of monitoring your child's progress. "If your child struggles, or finds the homework too easy, let the teacher know, because homework can be modified."

10. The teacher is on your side  

Elyse emphasises that teachers care about your child and have their best interests at heart. "They teach because they love children." Yes, even yours.

We hope these tips help you establish a wonderful rapport with your child's new teacher for 2012!

Vanessa & Lauren

Activities to Encourage Speech and Language Development

Ref: ASHA.org

Birth to 2 Years

• Encourage your baby to make vowel-like and consonant-vowel sounds such as "ma," "da," and "ba."
• Reinforce attempts by maintaining eye contact, responding with speech, and imitating vocalizations using different patterns and emphasis. For example, raise the pitch of your voice to indicate a question.
• Imitate your baby's laughter and facial expressions.
• Teach your baby to imitate your actions, including clapping you hands, throwing kisses, and playing finger games such as pat-a-cake, peek-a-boo, and the itsy-bitsy-spider.
• Talk as you bathe, feed, and dress your baby. Talk about what you are doing, where you are going, what you will do when you arrive, and who and what you will see.
• Identify colors.
• Count items.
• Use gestures such as waving goodbye to help convey meaning.
• Introduce animal sounds to associate a sound with a specific meaning: "The doggie says woof-woof."
• Acknowledge the attempt to communicate.
• Expand on single words your baby uses: "Here is Mama. Mama loves you. Where is baby? Here is baby."
• Read to your child. Sometimes "reading" is simply describing the pictures in a book without following the written words. Choose books that are sturdy and have large colorful pictures that are not too detailed. Ask your child, "What's this?" and encourage naming and pointing to familiar objects in the book.

2 to 4 Years

• Use good speech that is clear and simple for your child to model.
• Repeat what your child says indicating that you understand. Build and expand on what was said. "Want juice? I have juice. I have apple juice. Do you want apple juice?"
• Use baby talk only if needed to convey the message and when accompanied by the adult word. "It is time for din-din. We will have dinner now."
• Make a scrapbook of favorite or familiar things by cutting out pictures. Group them into categories, such as things to ride on, things to eat, things for dessert, fruits, things to play with. Create silly pictures by mixing and matching pictures. Glue a picture of a dog behind the wheel of a car. Talk about what is wrong with the picture and ways to "fix" it. Count items pictured in the book.
• Help your child understand and ask questions. Play the yes-no game. Ask questions such as "Are you a boy?" "Are you Marty?" "Can a pig fly?" Encourage your child to make up questions and try to fool you.
• Ask questions that require a choice. "Do you want an apple or an orange?" "Do you want to wear your red or blue shirt?"
• Expand vocabulary. Name body parts, and identify what you do with them. "This is my nose. I can smell flowers, brownies, popcorn, and soap."
• Sing simple songs and recite nursery rhymes to show the rhythm and pattern of speech.
• Place familiar objects in a container. Have your child remove the object and tell you what it is called and how to use it. "This is my ball. I bounce it. I play with it."
• Use photographs of familiar people and places, and retell what happened or make up a new story.

4 to 6 Years

• When your child starts a conversation, give your full attention whenever possible.
• Make sure that you have your child's attention before you speak.
• Acknowledge, encourage, and praise all attempts to speak. Show that you understand the word or phrase by fulfilling the request, if appropriate.
• Pause after speaking. This gives your child a chance to continue the conversation.
• Continue to build vocabulary. Introduce a new word and offer its definition, or use it in a context that is easily understood. This may be done in an exaggerated, humorous manner. "I think I will drive the vehicle to the store. I am too tired to walk."
• Talk about spatial relationships (first, middle, and last; right and left) and opposites (up and down; on and off).
• Offer a description or clues, and have your child identify what you are describing: "We use it to sweep the floor" (a broom). "It is cold, sweet, and good for dessert. I like strawberry" (ice cream).
• Work on forming and explaining categories. Identify the thing that does not belong in a group of similar objects: "A shoe does not belong with an apple and an orange because you can't eat it; it is not round; it is not a fruit."
• Help your child follow two- and three-step directions: "Go to your room, and bring me your book."
• Encourage your child to give directions. Follow his or her directions as he or she explains how to build a tower of blocks.
• Play games with your child such as "house." Exchange roles in the family, with your pretending to be the child. Talk about the different rooms and furnishings in the house.
• The television also can serve as a valuable tool. Talk about what the child is watching. Have him or her guess what might happen next. Talk about the characters. Are they happy or sad? Ask your child to tell you what has happened in the story. Act out a scene together, and make up a different ending.
• Take advantage of daily activities. For example, while in the kitchen, encourage your child to name the utensils needed. Discuss the foods on the menu, their color, texture, and taste. Where does the food come from? Which foods do you like? Which do you dislike? Who will clean up? Emphasize the use of prepositions by asking him or her to put the napkin on the table, in your lap, or under the spoon. Identify who the napkin belongs to: "It is my napkin." "It is Daddy's." "It is John's."
• While shopping for groceries, discuss what you will buy, how many you need, and what you will make. Discuss the size (large or small), shape (long, round, square), and weight (heavy or light) of the packages.

 Please use these activities/strategies as a general guide only. If you have any concerns regarding the development of your child's speech and or language - contact Vanessa or Lauren at 

Small Talk Speech Pathology

Speech Sound Development Guide

Via Mommy Speech Therapy

From the Goldman Fristoe Test of Articulation-2

Note: Use this as a general guide only. 

If you have any concerns regarding your child's development please contact your local Speech Pathologist or email Vanessa and Lauren at

smalltalksp at gmail.com.au

What Part of No Doesn't Your Child Understand?

via Aha! Parenting

"When we acknowledge our children’s right to want things, as well as their right to be upset when they can’t have what they want, it goes a long way toward defusing their anger and the tantrums that occur as a result.”  -- Nancy Samalin

The part of NO that our kids don't understand is the part where we make them feel bad about themselves and what they want, instead of just saying NO to the behavior.

How do you feel when you can't have something?  Maybe a nice vacation, or dinner at a fancy restaurant, or even just a few minutes to yourself?  Think how much better you feel when your spouse, or friend, responds to your desire like this:

"I see how much you want that....I wish you could have it...You deserve it....Wouldn't it be nice?"

But what if instead they say:

"No way!  What, are you crazy?! In your dreams!  Get over it!"  or, worse yet,"You're always wanting things! You're so greedy and self-centered! Do you think you're the center of the universe?"
From your perspective, your kid's desire to stay up later, swing from the lights at the doctor's office, or have her birthday party at a fancy place might be just plain nuts.  But if you can say YES to the feelings and desire, even while you say NO to the behavior or request, your child will feel (and act) a whole lot better.

 Like this:

"You wish you could stay up later.  When you're big, I bet you'll stay up all night, every night, right? But right now it's bedtime. Do want to pick a storybook or should I?"

"You're full of energy right now.  This isn't a good place for jumping around, but when we get outside, we can play a little in the park across the street before we head home. Want to play this puzzle game with me while we wait for the doctor?"

"You wish you could have a party at that place, but we can't afford it. I see how disappointed you are, Sweetie.  I know you want a really great party where all the kids will have lots of fun.  Let's brainstorm about how to have a really fun party in our backyard.  Should everyone bring bathing suits and have a water fight? Should we make a special cake together?"
You might even post a little sign on your refrigerator or car dashboard:

Allow feelings, Limit behavior.

Via Aha! Parenting

Australia Day Activities for Kids

Here are some Australia day themed tasks for the kids - all courtesy of Australia Day

 
There are loads of activities and ideas to keep the little ones busy throughout the school holidays.

Use colour and creativity to make these Australian animals come alive or turn the finished masterpiece into a fun mask by attaching some elastic to either end.
There’s also a crossword, find a word, join the dots and much more.... so get busy!

• NEW - Colouring-in sheets - State Birds & Fauna
• Colouring In Sheets
• Flag Activities
• State Floral Emblems
• Puzzles
• Cut & Paste
• Crossword
• Find a Word
• How well do you know Australia?
• Join the Dots

 HAPPY AUSTRALIA DAY EVERYONE!

Vanessa

10 Tips to Prepare for Starting School

Here are some helpful hints from Mummysmiles to get mums & little ones ready for school:

The summer holidays are nearly over, and our thoughts are slowly moving from plum puddings and Christmas Trees, to lunch box snacks and school books. Last year, we started talking about making preparations for Prep, and we continue this today with help from all the readers who have sent me their suggestions.

Every year, thousands of new school-mums bid farewell to their little ones as they face a formal school environment for the very first time. What a significant and exciting time for these children and their families. But as with any big milestone, there can be some feelings of trepidation, possibly some anxiety about the unknown. This is perfectly normal!!

Just remember, preparation is key! And with the following tips, you can help make the transition into school smooth, exciting and enjoyable.

1.  Encourage self sufficiency:  Insist your child carries their belongings from day one.  If you carry all their items for them the first day or week, they will think this is how it’s to be done.  It’s then very difficult to change expectations.

2.  Make new friends:  Prep is an opportunity for your child to widen their circle of friends.  Set them on the right track by smiling and greeting people as you enter the school and make your way to the classroom.  If you are friendly to others, your child is likely to follow their lead.

3.  Watch for tiredness:  Prep is a very busy time for young children as they learn and develop, and they will become tired more easily.  It is very important to be aware of this.  Are they over-reacting to small incidents and does it take them a long time to get to sleep?  These are signs of over-tiredness.  You may need to compensate for this by having more wind-down time at the end of the day.  It is important to put into place good bed-time routines now so you are ready for next year.

4.  Have essentials ready:  It’s important that your child has all the required equipment when they head off for their first day.  A missing book or pencil case may not seem like much to you, but it will be a big deal for them.  Make sure they have their hats, water bottle and everything else that they may need.  A calendar on the fridge stating Library, PE days or when things are due back at school is helpful.

5. Think about the size of their school bag. Those cute little bags are adorable but can they fit your child’s spare underwear/clothes, lunch box/bag, drink bottle, hat, jumper (because it will most often come off), art work, notes and their items for news?  (Kaz) If you are using the school’s school bag,  make sure you use a bag tags so that they can identify their own bag. Make sure they put their own bag and hat onto the port racks so that they know where to look for it at break times. (Maree)

6. Covering books in one colour or pattern is a great idea. If your child is in primary school and keeping all their books in their desk make it easy for your child to find the different books with a coloured spot or label on the spine. Imagine a child with 3-5 books in their desk piled on top of each other and then a pencil case or two on top. If they are all in the same contact how do they find their writing book quickly? (Kaz)

7.  To make it easier for young children to find what they need in their pencil cases, pop separate items in the little cheap clear pencil cases that you get at the $2 shops. Colouring pencils in one, crayons in another, writing pencils, rubber, pencil grip in another etc., and then put all of the little pencil cases into the larger one. It makes it easier for them to find what they need = one less thing for them to worry about! (Maree)

8. Start the kindy routine a good few weeks in advance (over the summer holidays) so that it’s one less thing to adjust to at the start of school eg. wake up times/breakfast times/make bed etc or whatever you want to implement to get out the door on time and with everything that needs doing done! (Amanda)

9. Be brave so they are too, you may be surprised how emotional you will be when it comes time to say goodbye, so put on your bravest face, no matter how distressed they are and remember when it comes time to pick them up, they will be talking non stop about what they did all day. (Kylie)

10. Take a moment to pause and reflect. This is a really exciting time – your child is starting a journey which will help to shape them as a person over the next 13 years. You have done an amazing job as a Mum. You have nurtured your baby from the little newborn to the capable and confident little person that they are today. As you walk back out of the school gate after drop off, pat yourself on the back. Good job, Mum.

 

Vanessa X

 

The Therapeutic Process of Play via Play At Home Mom

Via Play At Home Mom


“Play relieves feelings of stress and boredom, connects us to people in a positive way, stimulates creative thinking and exploration, regulates our emotions, and boosts our ego.” (Landreth, 2002)

1. Choosing Toys:  Children need open ended toys to encourage creativity, critical thinking and expression of the child’s thoughts needs and feelings: anger, fear, sadness, joy, surprise, disgust. Here is a list of toys with open ended therapeutic value; while it is not exhaustive, it is a good place to start:

• Real-Life: Dolls, bottles, doctor kit, phone, dollhouse, family figures, play money, cars, kitchen utensils, a variety of animals, doctor kit
• Aggressive: dart guns, rubber bendy knife, rope, animals, soldiers, bop bag, mask
•  Emotional Expression: playdough, crayons, paper, scissors, tape, egg carton, deck of cards, soft foam ball, balloons, magic wand
•  I think it is also helpful, though not essential, to have a medium of play, such as a large pan or sensory table of sand, beans, or water to hide, bury or build.

A word about aggressive play and toys: There is a misconception that allowing children to play with aggressive toys such as guns and knives will teach them to be aggressive. But child development research, and play therapy research in particular, shows children need to  express their aggressive emotions in play in order to release them, rather than carrying them throughout the day (to school, the grocery store, grandma’s house, etc.).Everyone has negative feelings that need to be accepted, noticed and expressed in healthy ways in order to release them; children are no different. Our job as parents is to guide them toward appropriate expressions of their negative emotions, “you’re really angry and you want to hit mommy, but mommy is not for hitting. You can hit the pillow or you can stomp your feet and say ‘I’m really angry!’” Developing emotional intelligence is key to raising healthy, compassionate and capable children, and play combined with appropriate boundaries teaches them emotional intelligence.

2. Setting the stage for play is important. Chaos in the home creates anxiety in children, whether the chaos is emotional (yelling) or physical (disorganization). Children feel less anxious when toys are organized, rather than scattered or piled up in boxes where they have to dig around to find them. In our home we decided to display certain toys on shelves (2-3 books, paper, markers, blocks, dolls, kitchen) and put specific toys in bins (paint, dress up, soft animals, doll accessories) for space and functionality reasons, but they always go back in the same box and returned to the same place. In addition to decreasing a child’s anxiety, toy organization also increases their ability to access that toy when they seek it out. I quickly discovered that in order for us to get and stay organized we also had to simplify; we gave away many toys and we put the rest away to swap out every few weeks. I’ve also found that displayed toys and boxed toys change over time; your child will lead the way in this matter as well.

3. So how does play "work"? Children want to connect with us and they want know we care about their thoughts, feelings and needs. Play is a wonderful opportunity to do this while also giving them the opportunity to work through the everyday challenges they face. Our role is to allow the child to lead in play while we follow without making suggestions or asking questions. Parents can join in the play when invited or to help a child become interested in play, but children make all the decisions and find their own solutions without our interference. Sometimes this means it’s important to “play dumb” in order to empower our children, “you want me to open that? Hmmmm. Show me what to do.” Our purpose is not to frustrate our children, it is to empower them; our goal is to help children feel capable in the presence of adults who seem capable of doing everything with great ease. Most importantly, this means we need to be present with our child while they play. There are several important ways to demonstrate our attentiveness:

• Body language conveys strong messages, so our body should be facing our child.
• Tracking our children’s play  it is a way to let them know we’re present, paying attention, and interested without leading or making suggestions: “you’re stacking those up,” “you’ve decided to put that there.” “you’re thinking about what you want to do next.”  When Addi is playing I don’t usually name an object unless she has given it a name. For example, if she’s playing with blocks I don’t call them blocks unless she does - a square block might represent an airplane or a bed. So I just follow her lead. 

• Similar to tracking is reflecting our child’s feelings. Reflecting helps our children feel understood and communicates our acceptance of the many feelings they experience no matter how big the feelings. This teaching of emotional intelligence gives children the words they need to recognize and accept their feelings and  release them in behaviorally appropriate ways: “you’re excited you got that open,” “You’re sad grammy left,” “you’re angry about losing the game.” The key is to remember that all feelings are acceptable; behaviors sometimes need limits. 

• Which brings us to the importance of appropriate limit-setting. No one can play freely if they are first bombarded with a bunch of rules to follow, so it’s important to hold off on stating limits until the moment they are needed. Limits are stated in ways to give children responsibility for their own actions and behaviors: “I know you want to pour water on the baby, but the baby is not for pouring water on. You can pour water on the bush or in the sensory table.” Or “I know you want to throw the jar, but the jar is not for throwing. You can throw the pillow or the ball.”  It is equally important to only impose limits necessary to keep everyone safe and the toys intact. Some toys may be okay for destruction (common destructive toys are army men, egg cartons, paper and balloons) – everyone’s threshold for this is different, so you will have to decide what’s right for your family. Be consistent, and remember it’s okay to change your mind, just let your kids know “I made a mistake. I thought I would be okay with you breaking that, but now I’m not okay with it. Let’s play with that gently. You can destroy the egg carton or tear paper instead."

A note on emotional responsiveness: Gary Landreth, a premier therapist and researcher calls upon us parents to “be a thermostat, not a thermometer!” It is our job to reflect the child’s feelings, not take the child’s feelings and make them our own. This can be difficult to do and may take quite a bit of practice. Imagine your child gets very angry and starts to get physically and verbally aggressive. You have two choices, you can absorb her anger and begin shouting back, which escalates everyone’s behavior and leaves you both miserable. Or you can look at her anger without judgment and reflect them back to her “you are feeling really angry with me right now. I know it is really hard to stop when you’re having so much fun.” This responsive statement is empowering for everyone: your child feels heard and understood without feeling attacked, and you remain the calm eye of the storm. No one gets sent to their room, no one’s heart is beating out of their chest, and the relationship remains intact.

Playing with our children and allowing our children to lead play their are two of the greatest gifts we can give them. Whether your child is working through her own "stuff" or just occasionally has an unexplained sullen mood, learning to help our children work through their struggles can benefit both our children and our parent-child relationship. While this is certainly not an exhaustive "how to" article, it can serve as a place to start. For more information or training please check out the books in the resources (listed below) and look for a Filial Training workshop in an area near you.

Need more reasons to believe in play? Play helps children:

·         Become more responsible for behaviors and develop more successful strategies.

·         Develop new and creative solutions to problems.

·         Develop respect and acceptance of self and others.

·         Learn to experience and express emotion.

·         Cultivate empathy and respect for thoughts and feelings of others.

·         Learn new social skills and relational skills with family.

·         Develop self-efficacy and thus a better assuredness about their abilities.

Children can express their troubles in play more easily than they can express their thoughts and feelings verbally: "toys are like a child’s words and play is the child’s language." (G. Landreth). Through play children can learn more appropriate behaviors, encounter the corrective emotional experience necessary for healing, and experience the resolution of inner conflicts or dysfunctional thinking.

Resources:

Sue C. Bratton, Garry L. Landreth, Theresa Kellam and Sandra R. Blackard, “Child Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT) Treatment Manual.: (2006).

Garry L. Landreth, “Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship.” (2002)

Kim John Payne and Lisa M. Ross, “Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier and More Secure Kids.” (2010)

Head over to Play At Home Mom for the full article.